The Utimate Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa, for Christmas this year I want a zip line from my apartment to school, a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue, a high speed rail line from Boston to Arizona, an indestructible bike, books about God, and lots of candy. We all have our lists of things that we want, but around Christmas we take it to the next level. Kids turn in extensive, itemized spreadsheets to their parents detailing every last thing that they wouldn't mind having. Some of these lists can get pretty outrageous. When I was a kid I asked for a Lamborghini (I got a Matchbox version). As crazy as our lists for Santa might get, imagine a Christmas list for God. That would have some really hard-hitting items on it. I wonder if we can find one in the Bible...

 It turns out that as Mary is waiting for the first Christmas, she makes a list of her own. It's not technically a Christmas list because she is listing things God has already done. It is more like a list of gifts for which she is thankful. We could take a hint from her and accompany our Christmas wishes with an enumeration of gifts we have already received. You know, not just telling people what we want, but letting them know what they mean to us. Anyway, when she finds out that she is pregnant, Mary sings this song where she goes through all of the blessings the Lord has given. The point is that Jesus Christ represents the continuation and the fulfillment of these gifts. Jesus' coming is the ultimate present, he totally delivers everything Mary asks for on the ultimate Christmas wish list.

"So, Eubarist, what is Jesus bringing us?" I submit to you the ultimate Christmas list, as developed by the Holy mother of the Lord and recounted in Luke 1:46-55

 

Dear God, for Christmas I want:

- Your attention

- All generations to call me blessed

- God's mercy to be on those who love him... forever

- You to scatter the proud in the imagination of their hearts

- You to cast down tyrants from their thrones

- You to exalt the lowly

- You to fill the hungry with good things and send the rich away empty

- You to help your servants.

Sorry, no video games, no bikes, no chocolate. Still, some pretty good things. God's eternal mercy? I'll take that over a sweater any day. All tyrants cast down from their thrones? I'll take it. It is clear that the scope of a Christmas list given to God is much greater than the one given to Santa. Would we really trust Santa to scatter the proud in the imagination of their hearts? I wouldn't. The best he can do is give them coal.

 

Mary's wish list is the ultimate Christmas list because she is playing the long game. Rather than instant gratification, she is going for eternal gratification. Her people have been longing for the things on her list for thousands of years. And when they finally come, in the form of Jesus, it is a world-changing event with consequences into eternity. Contrast that with me: I always ask for Pop-Tarts and then I have stuffed the whole box down my gluttonous gullet before lunch, I don't even unwrap them.

Nowadays people are complaining about the lack of craftsmanship in the short-term economy. Toys, cars, etc. aren't made like they used to be. They're not made to last. I agree. As much as I love great craftsmanship, you know what's really made to last? God's promises. Scripture promises that God's love is from everlasting to everlasting. That's why Mary's is the ultimate Christmas wish list. It contains the ultimate gifts. Also, God's love is quite acceptable to re-gift.

ULTIMATE EGGNOG

The ultimate wish list deserves the ultimate Christmas drink. So, here it is. I have tested many eggnogs. We take dairy very seriously where I'm from. This is the best recipe you'll get.

• Beat separately yolks and whites of 6 eggs.
• Add 1/2 cup of sugar to yolks while beating.
• Add 1/4 cup of sugar to whites after they have been beaten very stiff.
• Mix egg whites with yolks.
• Stir in 1 pint of cream and 1 pint of milk.
• Add a pint of Bourbon and 1 oz. Dark Rum. Stir thoroughly.

Makes 5 pints of the ULTIMATE EGGNOG.

Tips: Serve very cold. Ideally, let it sit overnight in the fridge before serving. Use quality ingredients. Do not try to make a lite version. If you're in for eggnog you're all in. Grate a touch of nutmeg on top.

Some doofae with eggnog