1/2 price drinks at Hades' Night

Welp, it's the first truly hot day of the year and, naturally, it's got me thinking about hell. Hell has long been seen as a really hot place with flames everywhere. The Bible certainly contains images like this, conjuring up "hellfire and brimstone" with "weeping and gnashing of teeth." Hell is definitely not a pleasant place to be, but I have trouble believing that it is merely a fiery wasteland. Why? Well, it's still possible to have a party in the heat.

In fact, some of the best parties happen in the heat. Spring break, the 4th of July, Summer picnics, and barbeques cannot be stopped by a little heat. In fact the heat even makes it better because I get to drink beer with my shirt off. It's one of life's greatest simple pleasures. It is the opposite of Hell.

Hell is complete and total separation from God. It is utter isolation and despair. Hell is what happens when we ignore God, when we forget about love, when we are too proud of ourselves to admit that we need others and especially that we need God. It is interesting that Dante imagined the central ring of Hell as a frozen, icy wasteland rather than a burning inferno. Hell is a cold heart. It is the victory of evil.

Does Hell exist on earth? You bet. Satan is real and if you don't believe me, read the newspaper. The world is full of hateful hearts and suffering brought about by evil cruelty. Sometimes the hateful hearts are our own. Whenever you see a complete lack of love, you see a preview of Hell. Turning on the news or walking through a rough neighborhood, images of hellfire and brimstone, of weeping and gnashing of teeth, are uncannily accurate representations of what we see. It is the inevitable consequence of human beings turning their attention from the loving center of the universe.

God always wins though. Hell can win fleeting, temporary victories but scripture promises that in the end God reigns over all things. Heat actually is a good metaphor for Hell then. A hot day can never ruin a party because friendship and cold drinks always win. In the same way, Hell will never ruin beauty, truth, justice, and love because God always wins. God is a cold beer on a hot day, and you can't beat a cold beer on a hot day. Unless you take your shirt off.

Maybe not. In any case, it is now the season of radio advertisements constantly advising us on how to "beat the heat." Can we retire that phrase? It is totally overused and unfunny. Unless, that is, we are use it to refer to God's ability to beat Satan's fiery damnation. The scriptures promise to help us "beat the heat" in a much cooler sounding way: "Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." (Revelation 7:16-17). If God can wipe the tears from our eyes, I think wiping the sweat from our brows is part of the offer too.

Here is what it looks like when the Lord beats the heat:

I bet the skinny guy with the mullet wins

Today's drink is based on the basic sour recipe. It is refreshing and cold, ideal for fighting back demons.

By the Sour of Grayskull

Ingredients: 1 fresh lemon, soda water, 2oz. liquor (whiskey, Barenjager ((I love this stuff!)), or rum), sugar is good if you're using whiskey or rum.

Muddle a quarter of the lemon into a shaker with the peel still attached, add ice and sugar if you're using it, pour liquor in, shake and strain into glass. Top with soda water to add sparkle. Garnish with slice from the rest of the lemon. Enjoy its cooling effects and the subtle presence of refreshing lemon pulp as you watch Satan eat his stony heart out.

By the Sour of Grayskull!