What would God Drink?

Perhaps you have heard of WWJD, which stands for "What Would Jesus Do?" It is a popular slogan for wristbands, license plates etc. The point of WWJD is to focus our behavior around the example of Jesus Christ. I would like to ask a new WWJD question though: what would Jesus drink? Keeping in mind that Jesus is God, and having some knowledge on the drink tastes of different kinds of people, I have a hypothesis of what God might order at a bar.

Here are a few considerations that go into my final verdict:

I have definitely noticed differences in what men and women order when I am working. When it comes to beer, very few women order Guiness (a strong, dark beer) and they also tend to prefer white wine to red wine. Women are typically associated with such "girly" cocktails as the sex on the beach, the cosmopolitan, and the long island iced tea. Anything with fruit. Men, on the other hand, tend to love strong beers, red wine, and cocktails with strong liquor. Anything that helps us feel manly.

God is neither man nor woman. In fact, God transcends gender. It's true that Jesus was male, but I think that this was just for strategic purposes. God knew people were too close-minded to listen to a woman back then. I often try to guess what people will order when they stroll up to my bar. The more facial hair a guy has, the more likely he is to order Guiness. The likelihood is increased if he is husky in build. If an all-powerful being who transcends gender walked up to my bar, it would be a tough call.


God is pretty humble. In fact, when God became a human being, that human being was the son of a carpenter. Jesus was from a blue-collar family. Or I guess a blue-toga family. No fancy drinks for him. For one thing, he wouldn't have been able to afford it. More importantly though, God would not be into trendy, overblown mixed drinks. He is a real salt of the earth type who would love classic drinks. Obviously Jesus drank a lot of wine in the Bible, but the question is not just what Jesus would drink, but what God (the whole thing) would drink.

Beer is a contender, as it is probably the modern equivalent of wine. In Biblical times, wine was much safer to drink than much of the water. It was widely consumed not just as an intoxicant but as a standard beverage for all occasions. Beer has this cultural function today. That answer is way too easy though. After all, I have to make a cocktail.

I say God would drink a whiskey sour. The whiskey sour is a classic cocktail that has stood the test of time, just like the word of the Lord, as revealed in scripture. It is delicious. It is sweet and fruit flavored, making it appealing to your average female drinker. And there's whiskey in there so the guys can still feel tough when they drink it. It is also a simple cocktail. It only involves one type of alcohol, one that can be purchased for $10-$200 a bottle. The rest of the ingredients are usually in your kitchen anyway. You can also make it strong, like God, or gentle, like God.

For a gender-transcendent being whose love is timeless and appealing to one and all. For a God humble enough to become a human. For a God both powerful and merciful, the best cocktail is definitely a whiskey sour. Plus, imagine Jesus turning massive jugs of water into massive jugs of whiskey. Awesome.

This week's drink is my version of the whiskey sour, God's favorite cocktail.

The Whiskey Sour

Ingredients: 1 shot bourbon whiskey, 1 lemon slice, 1 tablespoon sugar, ice cold water.

Mash lemon and sugar together at bottom of glass until you have dissolved all the sugar in lemon juice. Add whiskey and stir together. Put ice in (I used whiskey stones in the picture) and add ice cold water, about two tablespoons but not too much. Be careful not to wreck yourself; it goes down real smooth. If you were wondering, God could drink you under the table so don't even try.

A divine whiskey sour