The Drunk Leading the Drunk

Pro tip: when you go out drinking, make sure you have somebody sober with you. Even if you don't need a designated driver, you will need someone capable of rational thought to help you get on the bus or train, tell you which apartment is yours, and remind you where you are going when you get distracted by a Taco Bell sign. If a drunk person takes the lead of your group, you're likely to at least miss the bus, if not end up sleeping in the Dunkin' Donuts dumpster because "trust me guys, donuts are, like, really soft, right?"

A daring leader

Give me a Break

Everybody needs a vacation every once in a while. I just got back from some wonderful time with dear friends and family and I feel refreshed and empowered by a better sense of who I am. We partied together and prayed together and all of it was done in a different context than normal. That is the point of vacation, to do things that you love but to do them away from where you normally are. I got to wondering while I was away whether or not Jesus ever went on vacation.

On Vacation

Sorry friends, every once in a while everyone must take a Sabbath. With all the partying and praying I do with my family, consider it research time. I'll be back in a week. In the meantime, why not go to Church?

Come through, bro

Something that's annoying is when people don't want to hang out and give you a stupid excuse. Planning a huge, awesome party only to have people say "no man, I have to go on an Easter egg hunt with my grandma next week, I can't drink tonight" is infuriating. Come on, this party is for you, it's fun, I don't get anything out of it, I just want to have a good time. In college, a phrase was coined to try and coax people into partying: "come through bro" evokes a sense of the speaker's relying on the person to get out and have a good time. You can't party alone, that's just a fact. One of Jesus' famous parables basically amounts to God issuing a "come through bro" to the entire human race.

Let's put the "X" in Sex

I'm not talking about the Kiss song. By "X" I mean "Chi," as in Christ. With partying, comes sex. At least most of the time. You can't go to a bar without seeing people trying to get it on. That is, until I open my bar based on the Eubarist concept. Even there though, I hope that people will still want to have sex with one another. The sexual feeding trough concept, popular at college parties and beyond, will not fly. I hope that I have made the case that drinking and Christianity are compatible, but what about this other common aspect of partying? Surely no Christian could actually think that drinking AND sex are good, that's a bridge too far or whatever.

Sexy Jesus!

Wrong. Christians love sex. We approach it differently than denizens of your average frat house, but we do love it. We love doing it, we love talking about it, and we love when it is really, really good. People talk about Christian Sexual Ethics, as if all Christians are worrying about is what to do and what not to do. What is forbidden and what isn't. Clean and dirty, etc. I would like to talk about Christian sexuality. Christians want to have the best sex possible, and I believe that they are onto something in their efforts to do so. Also, we did not invent missionary position, just missionaries.

Christian sexuality is all about the whole person. We do not see sex as a simple physical need. In fact, nothing is simply a physical need because our souls and bodies are tied together. If sex were simply a physical need, we could do it with anyone, at anytime, and it would all be the same. This is a common attitude today: that sex is purely physical, it is possible to do it with no strings attached. It's not serious. For Christians there are always strings attached though, because what we do to our bodies has spiritual implications. St. Paul writes "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?" and that "your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you." Our bodies are precious. They are essential to our relationship with Jesus and to the Holy Spirit.

There can be nothing but truth in these pages

In a Christian understanding, when two people have sex they become one flesh. Two people become one unit. Their whole being together is itself a temple to the Holy Spirit, and they are in Christ's body together. There is a lot at stake, therefore, in deciding what to do with one's body. There is way more to it than wanting it and getting it. We don't stay out all night to get lucky, we're keeping vigil.

What's the benefit though? Surely God must have a reason to be such a cockblocker. The benefit is a level of intimacy that surpasses human comprehension because it is part of a divine plan. Approaching sex as just physical will lead to intimacy that is just physical. If sex is emotional, physical, and spiritual, then intimacy is emotional, physical, and spiritual. How much more intimate can you get than one flesh? It is perfect intimacy, made possible by God's presence in the relationship. Christian sexuality calls us to this level of intimacy because it is Holy, righteous, and the sex is smoking hot.

A part of this invitation to intimacy is the call to be faithful and to wait. Most people agree that being faithful is important, so I won't dwell on that. Only having sex with one person at a time makes sense. But waiting for sex, only having sex with one person in your whole life... no way. That is too much for most modern, secular people. Wouldn't we get bored? Waiting for the right person and only having sex with them means that they get everything. Every time you make love, you know this person in a way that no one else has or ever will know them for all time. This clears the way for complete trust. Every part of your being is shared with only one person.

Beautiful!

This discussion would not be complete without talking about love. Love is the essence of Christianity and it is the essence of Christian sexuality. Without love, for Christians, life is empty, and sex is empty. God's relationship toward people is one of intense, unconditional love and devotion. Christian sexuality calls people to be filled with God's love so that they are empowered to love their partners more than they ever could alone. Humans are only capable of loving people so much. Christian sexuality asks for more than we can give, but promises that God will help us. In terms of doing it, this results in a new meaning for the term sex God.

More sexy Jesus

I am passionate about this topic and could keep writing. But, in writing as in sex, it's not all about duration. Please continue the conversation in the comments if you feel so inclined. Today's drink is based on the Sex on the Beach, for obvious reasons.

Sex on the Shore of Galilee

Ingredients: 2 oz. white rum, 1 oz. Malibu Coconut Liqueur, 2 oz. pineapple juice, 2 oz. pomegranate juice.