Who is The Greatest Christian Drinking Country?

Today is world communion Sunday, which means that literally billions of Christians around the world will all be taking communion. It is a celebration of solidarity and a celebration of global Christianity. In honor of this day, I have ranked the top 10 Christian drinking countries. That is, the countries who have contributed the most to Christianity AND to drinking, my two areas of expertise. Both areas will be weighed and preference will be given to well rounded contestants. The list represents my opinion and I hope you will argue vigorously with me.

An alcohol and Jesus showdown between nations

10. Mexico

Luz del Mondo, an amazing Church centered in Mexico

Christianity: Roman Catholic Christianity has been practiced in Mexico since 1492, right after Columbus. It was one of the earliest places to be evangelized and Mexicans remain faithful. 92% of Mexicans are Christians. Important figures in the Catholic Church have lived and worked in Mexico, including Bartolome de las Casas, a colonial era priest who argued vigorously for better treatment of natives. In modern times, pentecostal Christianity finds some of its most enthusiastic voices in Mexico. Mexican immigrants to the United States tend to bring with them a love of Jesus that this country really needs.
 Booze: Tequila and Mezcal are both really hot right now and sales in the U.S. are growing very quickly. Basically, Tequila has to be made with blue agave and Mezcal is like Tequila that is not from blue agave. Tequilas and Mezcals are popular with casual drinkers but also have an extraordinary high end. Indeed, some of the world's finest aged spirits are Mexican tequilas and Mezcals. And Mexican lager (Corona, Dos Equis) isn't half bad either.

9. Palestine/Israel

St. Paul is converted, in Israel

Christianity: Palestine/Israel produced this one guy, Jesus. He is really important to Christianity, it turns out. All of the original 12 disciples are from here. So is St. Paul, the writer of most of the New Testament. Also, all of the Old Testament and the heritage of Jesus is from the Hebrew people of Israel/Palestine. Its importance to the Christian world cannot be overstated.
Booze: Unfortunately, it must rank 9th because it fails to make significant original contributions to global boozing.

8. United States

Christianity: The United States is a rookie when it comes to Christianity. The Church has only been here, in earnest, since the 1600's. That said, the U.S. has had outsized influence. America was founded by Christian radicals, namely the Puritans. It has had a long history of religious revivals. America's current Christian revival has produced evangelicalism, the fastest growing kind of Christianity in the world. Also, America has welcomed many different kinds of Christians as it has welcomed immigrants. You hear a lot of people say God bless America, and not many saying "God bless (other countries on this list)." This might be theologically dubious but it counts for something.
Booze: Bourbon, mass produced beer, stupid flavored vodkas, etc. America makes both the really high quality stuff and the crap that gets people drunk. We also have access to the drinking cultures of all of the immigrant groups that live here. Diversity is strength.

7. Turkey

Constantine sees a sign

Christianity: Turkey's main points in this regard come from emperor Constantine, who ruled out of modern Istanbul in the 4th century. As the powerful emperor of the Eastern Roman Empire, Constantine converted to Christianity after God sent him a sign on the battlefield and he won. He then proceeded to make it rain on the Church. He paid for tons of beautiful sanctuaries and stuff and also made Christianity the official religion of his empire. After Constantine there was no going back. Europe and the whole western world would be Christian.
Booze: Turkey isn't particularly strong in this category, but they do have one awesome drink. Raki is an anise flavored hard liquor. It is unsweetened but still so dang fun to drink!

6. France

Notre Dame, maybe the world's most famous sanctuary

 Christianity: Although modern France is pretty secular, it has played an important role in the development of the faith. The monastery at Cluny is perhaps one of the most influential monasteries ever. It shaped the way that monks would exist in Europe basically to this day. It was a pioneer in the Benedictine spirituality that most of us associate with monks. And in case you didn't know, monks basically ran the spiritual life of the middle ages. French kings, too, always had a special bromance with the pope. When the Vatican was divided between 1309 and 1378, the rogue popes moved to France (Avignon) because that's how frickin' Catholic France was.
Booze: The French really clean up in this category. Many of the world's absolute finest wines are from French regions long renowned for their production of the absolute best grapes. Not only famous reds, such as Bordeaux, but also the world's best sparkling wine, come from France. Indeed, Champagne is only truly Champagne if it comes from France's Champagne-Ardenne region. Similarly, Cognac is only Cognac if it's from Cognac. Otherwise it's just brandy. Of course, the French also make the best brandy. Oh yeah, and ever heard of Grey Goose? It's French.Also, there's this famous French poem that I love. It's called "Get Drunk" so brace yourselves.

5. Ireland

Christianity: Ireland was one of the first European countries evangelized by Italian monks in the 3rd century. From then on, after the conversion of Celtic chieftains and their tribes, it has continued to be a major player in the Christian world, especially in Roman Catholicism. It was a Celtic, Irish form of monastic (monks and stuff) Christianity which eventually made its way to France and Germany and defined how Christian practice would look in the middle ages. Furthermore, Irish Catholic immigrants to America continue to offer significant gifts to the Church here. Some of our most famous Cardinals, such as Cardinal O'Malley of Boston, and Cardinal Dolan of NYC are Irish Catholics.

Booze: Early Irish immigrants to the United States were often stereotyped as alcoholics. This isn't necessarily true, but Ireland does produce great booze. Their whiskey is famous. It is different from the well-known whiskey of the Scots in that Irish whiskey uses toasted malt and is distilled three times, where Scotch uses untoasted and is distilled twice. Additionally, the Irish have a rich beer brewing tradition, producing such popular classics as Guinness and Swithwicks (pronounced Smitticks).

4.England

Christianity: The patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick was technically born in England. Indeed, the British isles have been Christian longer than any other European nation aside from Italy. It was Britain who produced the King James Bible, still the most authoritative and widely cited translation in the world. Many British colonies still have influential and active Churches founded by the Anglican church (e.g. America, Jamaica, Australia). Furthermore, the Church of England continues to be a source of excellent scholarship and leadership in matters of faith. Even non-Anglicans look to the Archbishop of Canterbury (head of the Church of England) for spiritual guidance, myself included. Plus, England was the birthplace of such influential Christian movements as Methodism, Congregationalism, and Quakerism.
Booze: An esteemed pedigree here, as well. Not only does England produce fine ales, stouts, and porters, it also invented one of the world's favorite liquors. That is to say, gin. To this day, the highest standard for quality in gin is London Dry. Gin is a quintessentially English drink and one that is enjoyed in diverse cocktails around the world.

3. Greece

Christianity: The Greeks may have been the first non-Jews to become members of the Jesus movement practically moments after Jesus died. Almost the entire New Testament was composed in Greek, and many of the earliest church communities were founded in Greece. Indeed, St. Paul himself founded congregations in Thessaloniki and Philippi. He wrote letters to these congregations that are included in the Christian Bible. Andrew and Barnabas also founded Churches in Greece. Andrew was even martyred there, and so (possibly) was Paul To this day, the Greek Orthodox Church maintains this apostolic spirit and a commitment to the gospel. They are active in the United States, where many Greeks now live, remaining steadfast in the faith.
Booze: Greeces' Christian pedigree is not quite matched by its booze. Greek Ouzo, however, is a fine drink. It is anise flavored and best taken with a dash of cold water. The water turns it cloudy and it is sometimes called "tiger's milk." Additionally, Greece produces good wine, not the least of which is retsina. Retsina is a resin wine with a unique flavor. My Greek professor got me some and it was awesome!

2. Italy

Christianity: Italy, like Greece and Turkey, was evangelized directly by the first apostles. Since then, it has become the center of the world's largest Christian group, the Roman Catholic Church. Although Catholic headquarters are in Vatican City, which is technically its own country, it has only been this way since 1929. All of the wheeling and dealing that the Roman Church has done for millenia was centered in Italy. Amazing. Italy is also where St. Paul was probably crucified.

Booze: Italy is extremely famous for its wine, which goes well with its excellent cuisine. Italian wines have long been shipped around the world both for discriminating palates and for general consumption. Italy also makes some beloved liqueurs, such as Amaretto, Sambuca, and Piso. These liqueurs have rich and vibrant flavors, befitting the national character of Italy.

1. Germany

Christianity: Germany tops the list for its long history, diverse contributions, and continuing importance. It was the center of the Holy Roman Empire, which had many important dealings with the medieval Church. However, it was also the sight of the Protestant reformation. A young monk named Martin Luther got tired of busting his butt to earn salvation and was fed up with people buying the ability to sin so he nailed his critiques to the door of the local Church. He started a theological movement, called Protestantism, that has become a driving force in the expansion and continuation of Christianity today. Furthermore, Germany has produced THE best theologians of all time. Luther, Tillich, Moltmann, Bonhoeffer, Rahner, the list goes on. There must be something in the water over there. Or the beer.

Booze: Everyone knows about German beer. Monks (like Luther) have been brewing it for a thousand years. It is a major part of German culture too. Oktoberfest is a real thing that happens every year in southern Germany. Germany is also an underappreciated wine-making country, with its Rhine region producing Riesling wine, a very popular and delicious white. Germany also makes cool liqueurs like Jagermeister, Barenjager, and all variety of schnapps. "Jager," so you know, means hunter. Awesome.