Pour one out for the Prodigal Son

The story of the prodigal son is one of the most famous parables in the Bible, but one of its most important aspects is often overlooked: the party. The prodigal son runs away from home, goes broke, then comes crawling back to his Dad. And his Dad throws him a party. What!?

Charlie Sheen: the modern prodigal son

According to the story, this Dad has two sons. The younger one was quite a whippersnapper, in fact he had the audacity to ask his Dad for his inheritance... before his Dad died. Scholars estimate that his request looked something like this:"Hey Dad, you're as good as dead to me so I might as well take your stuff kthxbye." But his Dad obliged and gave both sons their inheritance. The older one stuck around to help his Dad on the farm, but the younger one got all his stuff together, set off for a distant country, and "squandered his wealth in wild living." (Luke 15: 13)

Wild living, yeah baby! Who knows what kind of crazy stuff the prodigal sun was doing. Coke off the toilet seat of a private jet? Intravenous grain alcohol 24/7? Hiring an army of strippers to invade the mall as he commands them while wearing a Napoleon costume? The Bible isn't specific so these are all legitimate possibilities. But whatever he did, it was a classic example of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Because the next thing you know, he has blown all his money and has sold himself as a pig feeder. He's so poor that he fantasizes about eating the pig food. So he decides to go back to his Dad's place and ask if his old man will hire him. He doesn't want to be reunited with his family, he's just hoping his Dad will hire him.

Well his Dad does not hire him, but instead welcomes him back with open arms, thrilled to see his lost son again. In fact, this Dad sees his lost son approaching and sprints across the lawn to enfold him in a warm embrace. The son is all "Father, I have sinned against you" but the Dad says "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. LET'S HAVE A FEAST AND CELEBRATE!" (Luke 15:22-23) Nevermind the fact that you insulted me, took my money, blew it all on stupid stuff, then took the long walk of shame back here to beg for a job; I'm glad you're back!

This father's attitude represents how God feels about us. There is absolutely nothing we can do to make God stop loving us. God's love is kevlar-coated, titanium alloy, diamond-tipped, built to last, and unbreakable. We can turn on God, spit in God's face, steal God's money, hurt God's people, ravage God's creation, etc. And we really do these things, quite often actually. But the second we turn around and say "I've made a huge mistake" God is sprinting toward us to hug us and throw us a party. And I love parties so I know I, for one, am going back.

Today's drink is in honor of my earthly father, who introduced me to scotch and who always welcomes me back.

Scotch and Soda special

First of all, never make a scotch and soda with nice scotch. Great scotch should always be enjoyed pure and unadulterated, a fact that I learned from my dear father. Johnny Walker Red label is perfect for scotch and soda. 

Ingredients: 1 Shot not that great scotch, Polar Vanilla Pear seltzer (cold), ice, 1 drop bitters (optional)

If you can't find Polar Vanilla Pear, consider another flavored seltzer, like lime or even cranberry. But Vanilla pear is the best.

Fill glass with ice, pour scotch over ice, fill the rest of the way with seltzer and stir gently. Put 1 drop of bitters in and don't stir. Leave it on top to enjoy the aroma as you sip. Be careful to avoid "wild living". God will always welcome you back, but if you puke on someone's couch they may not.

A great-looking scotch and soda.